Silly and Entertaining Words From World Figures

1. "Before you marry someone, you must first get them to use a computer with a slow Internet to see who they really are."—Will Ferrell
2. “Clothes make us human. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”—Mark Twain
3. “I love getting married. It's great to find that one special person who you willingly want to annoy for the rest of his life.”—Rita Rudner
4. "I walk around like everything is fine, but deep inside, in my shoes, my socks slip off."
5. “There is no sunrise so beautiful it deserves to wake me up to see it.” Mindy Kaling
6. "You know you've reached middle age when you're warned to slow down by the doctor, not the police."—Joan Rivers
7. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
8. “When I am in a social situation, I always hold a glass. It makes me feel comfortable and safe and I don't have to shake hands with other people.”—Larry (Larry David).
9. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is that your memory is lost, and… I can't remember the other two.”—Sir Norman Wisdom
10. "I never forget other people's faces—but in your case I'd be happy to make an exception."—Groucho Marx
11. “My ability to turn good news into anxiety can only be matched by my ability to turn anxiety into acne.”—Tina Fey, Bossypants
12. “Eggs are great for dieting. If you don't like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook for 30 minutes.
13. “I prefer not to think before I speak. I love being surprised like everyone else because of what comes out of my mouth.”
14. “I want to have kids, but I don't think I'm ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”—Damien Fahey
15. "Pessimists are those who listen too much to optimists."—Don Marquis
16. “It is better to be silent and be thought of as a fool than to speak and dispel all doubt.”—Abraham Lincoln
17. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people seem so radiant you can hear them speak."—Alan Dundes
18. "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." —Ambrose Pierce
19. "If you want your kids to listen to you, try speaking quietly to other people." —Ann Landers
20. "Banks are places where you can borrow money to prove you don't need it." — Bob Hope
21. "Kebenaran politik adalah tirani dengan sopan santun." — Charleton Heston
22. "Jika Anda berpikir Anda terlalu kecil untuk membuat perbedaan, cobalah tidur dengan nyamuk." —Dalai Lama
23. "Siapa pun yang mengatakan 'uang tidak bisa membeli kebahagiaan' tidak tahu di mana harus berbelanja." — Gertrude Stein
24. "Ketika seorang pria membuka pintu mobil untuk istrinya, itu karena dia memiliki mobil baru atau istri baru." — Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
25. "Mengharapkan dunia akan memperlakukan Anda dengan adil karena Anda adalah orang yang baik seperti mengharapkan banteng untuk tidak menyerang Anda karena Anda seorang vegetarian."— Dennis Wholey
26. "Kebanyakan anjing adalah orang yang lebih baik daripada orang kebanyakan." — Andy Rooney
27. "Ketika saya masih kecil, Laut Mati masih sakit." — George Burns
28. "Jalan untuk menuju sukses selalu sedang dalam pembangunan." — Lily Tomlin
29. "Jika orang lain yang membayarnya, makanan akan terasa jauh lebih enak." — Gilbert Gottfried
30. "Jangan biarkan seorang pria menebak terlalu lama - dia akan menemukan jawabannya di tempat lain." — Mae Barat
31. "Jika evolusi benar-benar bekerja, mengapa ibu hanya memiliki dua tangan?" — Milton Berle
32. "Pernikahan itu seperti jamur: kita terlambat menyadari apakah itu baik atau buruk." — Woody Allen
33. "Olahraga adalah alasan saya menjadi gendut dan tidak bugar. Saya menonton semuanya di TV." — Thomas Sowell
34. "Rahasia pernikahan yang bahagia, masih tetap menjadi sebuah rahasia." — Henny Youngman
35. "Women are wiser than men because they know less but understand more." — James Thurber